I don't want to leave this place...finding myself

Published on 17 June 2022 at 01:46

by Patricia Ann 06/17/2022

Sometimes I write before I fall asleep at night...

Most people don't know what goes on behind closed doors and in today's world, even if they do see or hear, they turn away and do nothing.  Sometimes people ask for help from friends, family or churches and get turned away.

Maybe its always been this way or it has been this way for far too long.  

This is what I was led to write...

I didn't know if I would make it this far this time.  For so long, it was as if I was out of reach. I was lost somewhere in another person's desire to control my every thought, my emotions, my feelings.  I fought to keep myself, but then slowly I felt mysef slipping away under the pressure of so many things. And years passed by...

The oppression became great. Harsh words spoken turned to rage, as evil manifested in my face.  I saw and felt horror and coldness that could be and must be what is in the very center of Hell... a void so vast and vacant and penetrating that it sought to steal my soul.

But, I am humbled and grateful to my Lord for holding onto me--gripping my hands tightly and lifting me up from the abyss and back into His loving embrace. He heard my cry and He came,  just when I needed HIm the most.

Once with my Lord again, I can see the illusion... the game.

It wasn't real, but a cruel manifestation of a perceived reality of what masqueraded as love.  It was a mind game of endless illusion.

There is only one truth, one way and one light--overwhelmingly beautiful and vast --Our Lord,  He is Glorious light--filled with warmth that heals and soothes the pain and repairs and restores the heart, mind and body from head to toe. 

Moment by moment, in His loving embrace, we know we have once again arrived Home.

I didn't know if I would make it this far this time, but I have arrived.  I am home!

My spirit can rest. My body can heal. My heart can rejoice!

And I can love and be loved with the utmost peace and presence of Hope and Faith that Blessed assurance brings.

And I don't want to leave this place ever again.

In trying to find myself again -- I have fallen straight into the presence of my Lord.  

Thank you, Jesus for loving me the Most!

My prayer for today is that no matter what or who hurts us, we know that we are never alone.

Jesus walks with us, cries with us and reaches down with His mighty hands to lift us up and give us a great big hug

and an "I love you!"

When Jesus meets us face to face, His smile has the most joyful, warmth and sweetness. And because He loves us the Most, we also can love with the very Most of "who" and "whose" we are. 

I haven't liked the many trials I have experienced, but without them, I know I wouldn't be

where I am now in my walk with my Lord.  

Yes, In trying to find myself again -- I relaize that I was never really lost. 

Jesus always knew where I was and He wouldn't let me go.

And many times, He ends us helping in a kind word, a smile from a stranger, an eagle in the sky or HIs very own hands lifting us up from a dark place. 

Isaiah 40:31  But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Love and Blessings to All, in Jesus' name. Amen.



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