He gently calls my name. When I stand, God moves. When I fear, the enemy chases me.
Patricia Ann, originally posted Monday, July 27, 2020
My conversations with Jesus in the midst of an ongoing, raging storm...
It's still hard for me to see past my pain, to trust the one(s) who have hurt me here. Visions and words, sights and sounds of things that I have seen and heard that no one should hear, things that no woman should hear, ways that no woman should ever be treated. I know, however, that without it all, I may not be here, so in love with Jesus. He is ever present now in the thoughts I have of the past pains and horrors. I hear His voice gently calling me back to Himself. That is where I want to be, in the midst of my Lord, in His essence so sweet, in His fragrance. He is Light and uplifting in His presence. I want to smile and laugh and even joke a little. I can see His smile. He is just pure sweetness and He is always interested in me, in what I have to say. He cares and He understands. After all, Himself experienced the weight of the world and conquered the grave for me. He did it for everyone, but I feel it so personally in this moment. I guess I had to experience all of the pain and rejection of the ones I love the most here on earth. I had to have nobody, nothing and nowhere to turn. I think nobody ever really understood me and somehow that was always okay with me, because I loved them so much. It is hard though, giving and giving and giving and only getting rejection in return. I know that Jesus knows me intimately and I share in that rejection with Him. He is still rejected ,too, by so many people. My heart hurts for them, the lost ones, but as Jesus calls mankind hearts unto Himself one by one, each as the opportunity to experience this same Love that I share with my Lord. It's kind of hard to put into words--this feeling I have inside. I feel so accepted, so cared for, so loved and so worthy. I am loved. Jesus loves me intimately. He sees me perfected by the acceptance of His love, His essence. I seek to dwell here and if I start to think back into the past pain and hurt, I won't go. Jesus will call me forward and I will hear His voice and run to Him. I love you, my Lord.